i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
