Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You dont lie about slip and slides
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
