Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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