Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this just has baby written all over it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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