Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize