okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
