i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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