rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Randomize
