That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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