he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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