Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
