I heard we made out
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
