yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
