life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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