Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
