okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sext me about skeletons
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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