So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Alive.
So much puke
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
