Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
