I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tell her she can't have a vagina
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
is it fun? or sober?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
