Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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