I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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