It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
