i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
