he wants to bone in the snuggie
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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