she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
