I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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