Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
