have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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