tell your sister to shave her snatch
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
