apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
In other news, I just burned my penis
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
