That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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