so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
