i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
