I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
