my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
