i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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