theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
