Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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