awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Say something about gay babies.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize