just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
