Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
