Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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