Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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