so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
