Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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