We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
