thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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