Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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