Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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