new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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