Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
