I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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