Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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