do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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