Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
