She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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