How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
