its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
