"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
