I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There r osticjed everywhere
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
